I admit, I really love many things about the internet, especially social media. For instance, I currently live hundreds of miles away from my family/friends and the places I grew up and social media allows me to keep them up to date on what's happening with our family and the newest pictures of the kids with just a few clicks of a button. Maybe I want to know the weather forecast? That's easy, it just involves opening the app on my phone. I can even control my satellite receiver for our TV from my smartphone. I have used technology to track all my pregnancies from the very first tests through the birth of our children and document them growing every single day and share it with everyone we know. These things are priceless to me.
However, this post isn't about all the things I love about technology, especially social media. It's about how some days it's all too much. Some days I scroll through my news feed on Facebook and I'm overwhelmed by the tragedy the World around me endures on a daily basis.
Today was one of those days.
Today, I watched a video about a man who lost his wife and unborn son suddenly. Today I read an article about parents who lost their 2 month old, born just 9 days before our Little A., to a disease that we had thought to no longer exist and is easily preventable. I saw a status update from a family who buried their 7 year old son after he passed away suddenly. I glimpsed at pictures of several animals abandoned or abused by their owners. Today was one of those days when I looked at these stories and my heart felt heavier than normal. It felt heavy for those families and children and animals, but it also felt heavy because it gave me that "I'm living on a giant roulette wheel" feeling. The feeling that any moment of any day my number could hit and we could be one of those families. And there is nothing I can do to stop it.
It's not that life was any less perilous or these things weren't happening just as commonly before the internet and social media, it's just that it was easier to hide from it. Don't get me wrong, in my very small community growing up, we experienced our share of unexpected heartbreaking tragedies, including one of our classmates passing away unexpectedly. It's just that now, with every story I read about a parent losing a child or a wife losing a husband, I feel that panic. And sometimes it overwhelms me to the point of tears or losing sleep. It makes me want to build a giant bubble around our house. It makes me never want to move further than the .10 miles away from a major hospital we currently live or always live in a neighborhood that has a fire station in it like our current home. It makes me want to own a gun to protect my family, yet not have one to protect my family.
IT TERRIFIES ME!
When I hit this point, I focus on the light. Weaved into some of these tragedies are stories of children who touched hundreds of lives in just a few years or parents who have formed a cause and are educating others. And for every heartbreaking story I read, there are stories of hope and forgiveness. Stories of cancer remission and miracle healing. Stories of child adoptions long overdue and mothers giving birth after numerous losses. Stories of people remarrying after tragedies and families growing stronger. These hold the light and within this light is life.
Life is worth living and even if I hide away from all the bad, it can still come knocking on our door any moment and in that moment I want to be able to reflect back on all the ways we have lived our life, not all the time we spent hiding from it.
As always, I continue to pray for all of those affected by tragedy. May they feel the warmth and support of the world around them as they heal in the steps forward in their forever changed life.
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with me. Feel free to comment below if you feel compelled to do so.